Sometimes Ice Cream Is Better Than A Relationship

Here are the reasons that ice cream is sometimes better than a relationship or should I say wrong relationship.

1. You will never hear a carton beg you to wear an outfit that even a $2 hooker would say no way.
2. You won't have to shave your legs for a carton and then wonder why you did it.
3. You won't have to hear the I'll call you and never hear from the carton again.
4. You won't have to go on a blind date with a carton only to discover the carton was stuck back in the 70's. You know the whole polyester shirt unbuttoned to the navel with the gold chains and enough cologne on to cause a world wide shortage.
5. You won't have to answer the question from the carton that has been asked since the beginning of time. "Was it good for you?"
6. You will never ever find out on a cold winter night that the carton forgot to put the toilet seat down.
7. You will never find out the real reason the carton was nicknamed Sasquatch
8. You won't find out that the carton has been on Jerry Springer 12 times.
9. You won't go to meet the cartons' family and discover their family tree doesn't fork.
10. Lastly, a carton will never tell you I'm just not into you. And if they did who cares there is always other cartons out there waiting to be picked.

Why Chocolate Is Also Better Than Some Relationships

I had a request to do a blog about chocolate and relationships so here goes:

1. Chocolate won't ever stand you up for poker night with the guys.
2. Chocolate won't ever wake you up at 3 am and ask you "How about it?"
3. A Chocolate Kiss unlike some regular kisses will never leave you feeling like the dam just burst.
4. Chocolate leaves you feeling euphoric instead of WTF was I thinking.
5. Chocolate helps you get over bad cramps instead of telling you "Oh how bad can they be just suck it up."
6. A box of chocolates will always be a fun surprise unlike the surprise of finding out your guy is on Maury Povich having a DNA test because 3 women claim he has fathered their 8 kids.
7. Chocolate can come with nuts unlike your man who may just be plain nuts.
8. When you are done with chocolate it is over unlike the guy who thinks you are just joking with him.
9.Chocolate doesn't care if parts of you aren't in the same place as they were when you were 20.
10. And lastly, Chocolate will never ever tell you that you have gotten fat even though they haven't seen their feet in years.